Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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