We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
