David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
