My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
this will be a night to untag.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
