Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
