Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
