I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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