Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
