I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
