my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
