Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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