This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
God I need to hump something, right now.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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