Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
