fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Randomize
