Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
