guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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