with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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