Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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