all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
