Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
