You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
