She said her name was "party"
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
