i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
