420 ftw
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
