i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
