Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
