Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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