Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
