But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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