i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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