I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
