I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
