I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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