people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
