So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
