Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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