Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize