your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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