I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
