Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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