i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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