Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
