yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Randomize
