If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Reggie can tackle my bush.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
