dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
