I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
