Yo dont text me then not text me
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
