How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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