the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
