Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
